Often parents of young children find appointing a guardian by Will to be the hardest decision.  There are so many questions:  Should we? Who? What if? And so many emotions, not least because you’re addressing a worst-case scenario – the thought of your kids growing up without you is impossible and nightmarish.  However, by facing this fear and contemplating what would be best for your child in a worst-case scenario, you are showing your love for your child in the most brave and selfless way.   

If, when you pass, there is another parent of your child who is still alive, then it is most likely this person will become the sole guardian.  If there is no other surviving parent, then your next of kin, who is in the best position to do so, will possibly step up and then be appointed guardian.    

However, the above is a simplistic scenario that just doesn’t reflect the complexities of most families.  There are many reasons why it’s important to specifically name a guardian in your Will, these are some of them: 

Reasons for appointing a guardian by Will 

1)  There is no surviving parent of your child. 

2)  The surviving parent of your child has not been a part of your child’s life, has a history of violence or would be inappropriate as a sole guardian for other reasons. 

3)  You believe your (and your spouse/partner/ex’s) family members may not agree who should step up to become guardian.  If there was to be disagreement, any family member concerned with the care, welfare and development of your child can apply for parenting orders from the Family Court. Avoid this possibility of conflict, heartache, lost time, wasted money and confusion. 

4)  Avoid the possibility of a social worker with the DHHS placing your child into care and recommending a court appointed guardian – without consideration of what you believe would be best, simply because your wishes were not known, or could not be proven. 

5)  You believe a friend, not a family member, would be best for the role.  This is especially the case if you wish for your child not to be taken to live with family members overseas. 

6)  You wish your younger child’s older sibling to take on the role rather than other family members. 

7)  Your child has special needs which you believe can only be looked after by a particular person. 

8)  You want your child from a previous relationship to continue being parented partly or solely by your new spouse/partner.   

So, how to choose a guardian?   

Here’s a shortlist of things about potential guardians to weigh up: 

1. Age 
2. Location 
3. Connection with your child 
4. Trustworthiness to raise your child in the way you wish them to 
5. Hold views and values that are similar to your own; or is capable of respecting difference  
6. Get along with your family 
7. Level of physical activity 
8. Mental and emotional abilities 
9. Other responsibilities:  their own children, job etc 
10. Get along with the trustee you have appointed by Will – the person who manages the money available for raising your child.  (Your child is given what’s left over when they turn 18 unless you’ve nominated a later age, or given it to someone else) 
11. Financial situation and home (and the resources your estate may have available to assist) 
12. Other people they live with – or may live with in the future 
13. When you ask them, they agree, willingly, to take on the role.   

And, if this person becomes my child’s guardian, what does this mean? 

They take on a parenting role and become responsible for your child’s: 

• Day to day care, protection and control 

• Important decisions, about how they are raised, including: 

• • Health care 
  • Education 
  • Discipline 
  • Religious, spiritual and other significant beliefs 

• • Holidays and travel – how to experience the world 
  • Connections with others. 

The role automatically ends when your child turns 18. 

If I pass, will the guardian I name in my Will be appointed automatically? 

Not exactly.  This is the deal: 

• In Victoria, a surviving parent has an automatic right of guardianship under section 135 of the Marriage Act  (regardless of whether you’re married, or not). 

• A surviving parent will become a joint guardian with any guardian you appoint by Will, but they also have the right to object to the guardian you appoint. 

• If both parents pass, and have each appointed different guardians by Will, then those guardians will act jointly. 

• In appointing someone guardian by Will you give that person the right to join court proceedings where the sole or joint guardianship of a surviving parent – or any other person – should be challenged.  Theoretically they can argue for what you believed would be best for your child. 

• Regardless of who is initially appointed guardian, this may be partly or completely overridden by Family Court parenting orders where it is decided that alternate arrangements are in the best interests of your child. 

What if we can’t decide who to appoint?! 

Understand that this is a normal reaction – it is a highly personal and often difficult decision.   

If you haven’t yet, prepare (individually or together) a table of potential guardians and use the above shortlist to weigh up their strengths and weaknesses.  Also, consider whether a trusted third party – a friend or counsellor – can help talk through options.  Relationships Australia’s new online counselling service may be an option.

If you still cannot decide, it’s worthwhile writing your Will in the meantime.  You can store, alongside your Will, a letter of wishes which outlines how you wish your child to be raised.   

If you later find clarity on who to appoint as guardian, you simply need to ask your lawyer to add the appointment and arrange for correct execution of the codicil or new Will.  

I’ve got an idea of who to appoint – do I need to sort this out before seeing a lawyer? 

No, absolutely not.  My online START MY WILL form  can be completed while you’re still at the ‘I have no idea’, ‘I’m unsure and need some guidance’, or ‘I have an idea but still need to think about it’ stage.   

Helping you to work out the option or options that are most appropriate, practical and that you feel comfortable with, is part of my service.  I understand that you need to be given the right information and time to consider your options. We will discuss a range of options including whether a surviving parent should be sole guardian; multiple guardianship appointments; sole, joint or alternate appointments; guardianship remuneration; appointments limited by age; and your child’s own wishes. I also understand that life circumstances change, and the needs of your child will change, and we will consider how to cater for this in your new and future Wills.   

If you’d like to have a chat about appointing a guardian by Will or other Will issues before starting my online START YOUR WILL form, give me a call on 0413 656 164 or email your questions to donnafarrell@atyourwill.com.au  In the meantime some general information on the process of writing your Will can be found HERE, and my charges along with other FAQs can be found HERE.

Donna Farrell, Principal Lawyer,  AT YOUR WILL Mobile Lawyer

Post Links:

START MY WILL online form: HERE 

Section 135 Marriage Act 1958 (Vic):  HERE

Relationships Australia’s new online counselling service: HERE   

Family Court – parenting orders:  HERE